FB Question, that I’d love to know the brothers point of view.....

[ANGRY MAN]

C’mon fellas we no how this going to play out. He tries to help her, she moves in thinking her box is worth free rent. Because it’s in house action, she drives up the utility bills.

While stacking her extra 2k a month save up 10 stack in 5 months. Start an argument move out, now buys a new house talking shit about his house. Women are opportunists...if she consider a life with him then paying $800 wouldn’t even be a problem. Women will do anything for the right man. Go watch baby boy! She doesn’t see a future with him.

 

[playahaitian]

It's very sloppy.

I see this as his girlfriend he's been dating a while. Asking her to come live with him and then charging her RENT sounds crazy as fuck to me.

But asking her to pay the UTILITIES doesn't sound crazy to me.

Those two things just sound completely different when asking a girl you been dating a while to come live with you.

^^^^
I believe the legal term is kaboom your honor

 

[ScottyPiffen745]

Why would he consider "giving her money every now again" if he asks her to pay money to live him?

I mentioned the lease because he asked her to pay rent. If he said to pay the utilities, there is no lease needed because he would pay utilities anyway. All he is going to do is save money he was going to spend in the first place.

Plus, this is a girl he has been dating for a while. Why would he ask his GIRLFRIEND to move into his house, then ask her to pay rent to him?

If he said, pay all the utilities, that's completely different from asking for rent on the house they live in together that he paid off.

His wording was poor IMO. If I had suggested rent payment, I would have told her that the flat rate ($800) goes to utilties. This would let her know she is contributing to a household that she may eventually live on a permanent basis.

Financial situations are the death of most relationships. And I agree, I would rescind ASAP. He has everything to lose.

I meant that for if she chose to stay at her current place instead of living with him, maybe throw her some money every now and then if it was going to put her in a bind or something.

I agree, tho. Words like "rent" and "lease" make it sound too formal. If it's too formal sounding it could have a negative effect on the actual relationship, mixing business with pleasure.

For example, what if Covid-20 hit and she loses her job and she can't pay rent for a few months. What are you gonna do, kick your girl out? Wait for her to get the money? She ain't gone never pay that money back if you let her chill for free.

I agree, he should've been like "you could move in with me, but you gotta kick in on these bills. You know if you move in, everything is gone go up. So here, you can be in charge of this bill, this bill, this bill, and the groceries, and I'll take care of these other bills and everything else regarding the house."

Keep it informal, but decisive. Like "aight, you got the electric bill now. I'm trusting you to pay this bill. If you don't pay it, we have no power. If you let the power go out, we got a problem." Just to set a standard so she doesn't think she can chump him for a free ride because they're fuckin'.

 

[cold-n-cocky]

If she ain’t paying rent, then all the utilities need to be in her name and on her credit; I get not charging your girlfriend rent on some simpin chivalry shit; at the same time, 1) they get married, then she might be entitled to a 50% share of the equity in his house without putting dollar one into it and/or 2) shit hits the fan in the relationship and she’s lived there a certain amount of time, he legally in a lot of places can’t just tell her to GTFOH or put her shit on the street; in effect he now has a hostile roommate in his own damn house. So, she’s got to have SOME financial stake in the living arrangement.

Either way, her funny style attitude about the proposal of paying something to live tells me that relationship will be over soon; she’s about to save $1200/month; $14.4K a year and she’s mad about kicking in something every month? Fuck outta here....

 

[4 Dimensional]

I meant that for if she chose to stay at her current place instead of living with him, maybe throw her some money every now and then if it was going to put her in a bind or something.

I agree, tho. Words like "rent" and "lease" make it sound too formal. If it's too formal sounding it could have a negative effect on the actual relationship, mixing business with pleasure.

For example, what if Covid-20 hit and she loses her job and she can't pay rent for a few months. What are you gonna do, kick your girl out? Wait for her to get the money? She ain't gone never pay that money back if you let her chill for free.

I agree, he should've been like "you could move in with me, but you gotta kick in on these bills. You know if you move in, everything is gone go up. So here, you can be in charge of this bill, this bill, this bill, and the groceries, and I'll take care of these other bills and everything else regarding the house."

Keep it informal, but decisive. Like "aight, you got the electric bill now. I'm trusting you to pay this bill. If you don't pay it, we have no power. If you let the power go out, we got a problem." Just to set a standard so she doesn't think she can chump him for a free ride because they're fuckin'.

Yes, sir. I agree.

Make her show some basic responsibility.

The house is his regardless. If they marry, he can protect his house with a prenup, and if they decide to buy a new house, then they can decide on how to handle mortgage and utility responsibilities for the new crib

And I now understand what you mean by kicking her bread to help if she is in a bind, but she is still living on her own.

 

[Jp45]

The man is ALWAYS RIGHT, especially in these domestic type of situations

 

[Cross]

The bitches in the group continue to harp over him already paying the house off......IE “he’s taking advantage of her”.
Kevin Samuels is right about a lot of these birds.

Bitch saving 12000 a fucking year and shes being taken advantage of, go figure.

 

[Cross]

She is an ungrateful ________.

If he is saving her over 1000 per month in rent then her having a problem with that is a problem.

Homie needs to take this as a sign and dip.

Because I believe saving the money wasnt what she was planning to do she going to use her money for shoes trips and all other frivolous shit instead of looking to the future and stacking 12g a year she could use to buy her own home in a few years whether as a rental property or for herself the fact that she couldnt see the good fortune the brotha was presenting to her would let me know I dont have a future with her.

 

[Cross]

She should be paying half of the overall cost of living in the house which by the story stated above, doesnt include a mortgage. Sounds like he's trying to make EXTRA money off of her. Thats what he feels he needs to do to hit his financial goals? Sounds more like hes inviting unnecessary drama to make a few bucks. Personally, I wouldnt ask someone that Im in a relationship with to pay rent IF my house is paid off.. It would be a different story if he still had a mortgage, but since he doesnt, hes treating her like a roommate instead of a potential significant other.. It also might come back to bite him in the ass, if he kicks her out but she can show that she is paying rent there which she could contest and say she was illegally evicted.

Even though his mortgage is paid off he still has water, electric, sewer, taxes, cable, phone, soa fees if he lives in a condo or townhouse, groceries so hes not making money off of her she helping him save a little all the while she saving 12g a year which she can buy her own house or a rental property the fact that she cant see the forest thru the trees tells me she about herself and not them as a unit, dump the trick.

 

[Cross]

Well whatever side you are on, finances are important in a relationship and it is smart that both of them entered into a discussion before jumping in any deeper.

Not too many couples have the foresight to have that conversation because it could be uncomfortable but kudos for them for discussing before just moving in.

 

[Cross]

‘That wasn’t the proposition. The proposition was they split the bills, plus she pay 800 in rent. If he didn’t charge rent, she would still split bills, which she was good with, so she wouldn’t be living expense free.

I thought all he wanted was 800 a month but afyer your post i reread that he also wanted her to pay half the bills also i wish we knew what those monthly bill were although shed still save money but i get her reluctance but in the long run she still saves money by moving in with him.

 

[MT Hermit]

I thought all he wanted was 800 a month but afyer your post i reread that he also wanted her to pay half the bills also i wish we knew what those monthly bill were although shed still save money but i get her reluctance but in the long run she still saves money by moving in with him.

nah, the 800 is bills and rent. he fucked up by using the term rent in the break down.

he tried to be reasonable and transparent with a chick smh

 

[MT Hermit]

Bitch saving 12000 a fucking year and shes being taken advantage of, go figure.

chick logic

 

[spider705]

The $800 includes rent and half the bills...

Too many unknowns and variables at play here to really give a full opinion, but I'll just say this:

I'm cool with him asking her to chip in and pay half the bills and household expenses... but rent, I dunno about that one.

 

[MT Hermit]

Because I believe saving the money wasnt what she was planning to do she going to use her money for shoes trips and all other frivolous shit instead of looking to the future and stacking 12g a year she could use to buy her own home in a few years whether as a rental property or for herself the fact that she couldnt see the good fortune the brotha was presenting to her would let me know I dont have a future with her.

thought she was about 2 have all the red bottoms, or whatever d alphabets and simps tell em is hot at that moment

 

[killagram]

He offered a better situation with less financial burden on her and she didn’t appreciate the offer.. she will now be a nut rag with a few segments of cheap dates..enjoy your rent increase dumbass

I would not even put my dick in the bitch...cause she would try to..have baby...and make me suffa...brah

 

[MT Hermit]

I would not even put my dick in the bitch...cause she would try to..have baby...and make me suffa...brah

early

 

[killagram]

The $800 includes rent and half the bills...

Too many unknowns and variables at play here to really give a full opinion, but I'll just say this:

I'm cool with him asking her to chip in and pay half the bills and household expenses... but rent, I dunno about that one.

Shit.... maintenance got to be made up...some type of way....when that 5000.00 got dam HVAC unit..go out what the bitch gone say...then? Property taxes got to be paid? Landscaping got to be done... painting, repairs, hot water heater...got to be replaced...YEH .. THAT BITCH NEED TO PAY WHAT SHE WEIGH...brah

 

[killagram]

early

Huh.. brah?

 

[killagram]

thought she was about 2 have all the red bottoms, or whatever d alphabets and simps tell em is hot at that moment

Fuckin right... these hoes crazy as hell... brah

 

[MT Hermit]

Huh.. brah?

try to have a baby early or

quick
right away
from jump
unpack EPT test before anything else lol

 

[MT Hermit]

i bet the chicks saying he wrong would not say the same thing if their son was in the same situation

 

[killagram]

i bet the chicks saying he wrong would not say the same thing if their son was in the same situation

Preach to dem...brah

 

[tallblacknyc]

i bet the chicks saying he wrong would not say the same thing if their son was in the same situation

Bingo

 

[MT Hermit]

would your parents be selfish or taking advantage of you if they let you move into their paid off home and charged you rent?

I know its your parents and they took care of you and the extra blah blah thats gonna come, but the overall principle remains the same.

Both parties are benefitting, and like said earlier dude prolly gonna spend d extra bread on his chick anyway

 

[MT Hermit]

Preach to dem...brah

just tryna drop that real on my people like u b doin big bro

 

[killagram]

would your parents be selfish or taking advantage of you if they let you move into their paid off home and charged you rent?

I know its your parents and they took care of you and the extra blah blah thats gonna come, but the overall principle remains the same.

Both parties are benefitting, and like said earlier dude prolly gonna spend d extra bread on his chick anyway

Mayne...u got moe game..than monopoly...I'm waiting on a fuckin idiot...to come with the negative vibes... brah

 

[MT Hermit]

Mayne...u got moe game..than monopoly...I'm waiting on a fuckin idiot...to come with the negative vibes... brah

this BGOL so u know they coming

negative vibes and nongic (just made it up, opposite of logic )

 

[Walter Panov]

He's an idiot. Make her pay all for the utility bills and that's it. Her moving to the suburbs is a downgrade for her so it's not like he's doing her any favors. Asking her to pay rent to live in the fucking suburbs when you don't have to pay for it? That relationship will be ending soon.

 

[killagram]

He's an idiot. Make her pay all for the utility bills and that's it. Her moving to the suburbs is a downgrade for her so it's not like he's doing her any favors. Asking her to pay rent to live in the fucking suburbs when you don't have to pay for it? That relationship will be ending soon.

Fuck that bitch....a Mayne...don't need to house no hoe...brah...he ain't trying to be a safehaven and savings house...FOLK

 

[Camille]

At first I was like his side makes sense and that 800.00 is not unreasonable, but PH is correct, assuming they are going half on expenses, this would mean there are 1600.00 in expenses which I suppose could be possible, but expenses and rent are two different things. I'd need to see the breakdown of what it is supposed to cover.

If she is a friend moving in, then 800 is a great deal. Since they are in a relationship that doesn't include a montage or rent payment, it doesn't make sense. I'm traditional and believe men are supposed to be the providers in a relationship. That doesn't mean I don't contribute, but it seems more like he is charging her room and board.

 

[Camille]

Y’all going in way too hard. If she can pay $1800 to the landlord she can pay Half that to him. Find some way to have her living there paying off something. What’s your property taxes, insurance and utilities for the year. Divide that by 12 and if it’s less than $800 charger her that monthly that way all your shit is covered. Don’t dump her or rush to any rash conclusion. See her counter offer to your denial. Work toward something. Can’t just toss her because she shit tested you.

I didn't think about property taxes.

 

[PeerlessMack]

Late to this thread.

I didn't need FB to have this discussion because I have been there done that. And have family and friends who have been through it also. Some people's financial responsibility drastically changes when they move in with a person who has more or equal to offer.

First time it happened to me I made the mistake of not discussing splitting the bills. But I was very young and thought it would work out. I had a house and good job and she had a kid working part time. She moved in and got a full time job that was a decent wage. You'd think she would contribute accordingly. Nope.
Her logic..... I make more than her so I should cover all of the bills. She finally agreed to pay some bills but picked the smallest bills to pay; water and cable bills. Nothing was put towards rent.
It wasn't until I literally wrote it out on pen and paper the amount the bills had increased since her and her son moved in and how she was taking advantage of me. I showed her that she was able to keep 75% of her pay because she wasn't paying shit yet I hardly had 10% of mine left over. What made it bad was that her older sister was there and her own sister agreed, albeit reluctantly.
You'd think she would agree to contribute more. Nope. She decided to find her own place.
She moved into an apartment. Got evicted a few months later. Moved in with a female friend. Got kicked out a few months after that.

Point is that some people feel that when a person is doing better than them they don't have to contribute as much.

 

[Madrox]

thought she was about 2 have all the red bottoms, or whatever d alphabets and simps tell em is hot at that moment

..can you imagine having a glorified roommate up in your house who pays half the cable and electric but legitimately rules over the property as if its theirs? Redecorating and shit? And then watching them buy up and save up all their money for god knows what? Not saying that would def happen, but the fact that its his house and she would essentially just be on holiday otherwise she should have more of a financial stake in the situation for a number of reasons..

Shit.... maintenance got to be made up...some type of way....when that 5000.00 got dam HVAC unit..go out what the bitch gone say...then? Property taxes got to be paid? Landscaping got to be done... painting, repairs, hot water heater...got to be replaced...YEH .. THAT BITCH NEED TO PAY WHAT SHE WEIGH...brah

..you know? He's probably weighing all that much like a landlord would, pricing in maintenance and repairs...and if that will save them both money in the long run then that's whats up.

Having lived with a bitch before there are a handful of annoying misc expenses that come into play that you don't even forsee beforehand. For example: food. You would think it's not that big a deal, and can be easily priced in, but think about it every time you're at the grocery store you feel obligated to ask if they need anything because you living together. Anytime you go pick up some food at take out you're buying for 2. I know here NYC all that shit adds up. And I had mad arguments with my ex about buying groceries. Chick would eat up all the food and never replenish shit. Remember one time we were arguing about some milk she drank up and didn't tell me about and I was like "when is the last time you bought A grocery?!"

Point is, if you dont set proper guidelines, and expectations.. they WILL take advantage most of the time. In their mind, all that grey area shit will become OUR responsibility just because it was never discussed up front.

 

[PeerlessMack]

I'm reading through these comments..... I can't help but shake my head.

I can tell who aren't home owners in this thread. If you think owning a house mortgage free means you will not continue to have expenses, I have some "miracle" water to sell you. You still have to pay taxes every year. Maintenance and upkeep happens weekly. Yes, weekly. Every year there is new shit you have to take care of (last year my water heater went bad).

And like somebody mentioned, once she moves in, she will have a legitimate claim to residency after a while. What happens if she lives there rent free for 3 years and he finds out she been letting the local YMCA basketball team run a train on her? He can't just kick her out on a whim.

There should to be some sort of financial responsibility if there is a claim of residency to a place.

Now I'm not saying that he 100% has to make her pay something. He could be generous and have her live there without paying a dime. I know couples who have that arrangement and they are happy. I'm just saying that I completely see his side of the argument. And he has a legitimate argument.