How do you know when it is time to leave the wife?

look ive been married to the same black woman for almost 15 years and i already told you what you need to do. yeah marriage is hard work but what you got aint worth saving. that there is a hoe son.

it sounds like she is in her attention whore phase and when you was doing shows she enjoyed the club scene because of the attention she used to and still gets from the club dudes. yes she is fucking and you need a "home dna kit" but dont tell her and turn that dam phone recorder on for god sakes. she is looking for a way out and you need to recognize that and act accordingly so you can protect yourself. stop crying to her to get down on your team and spend that time and effort getting your ducks in order.
 
When it is time to leave a woman, nobody will tell U....
You will know and you will also be at the point where you cannot put up with her bull any longer.

Yep. I'm going through it now. I should have never married her in the first place. We never lived together and that was mistake 1. When you are ready to leave, you'll be very decisive and not question it, you'll just step. Honestly, I wouldn't advise any man to get married under 30, and thats just me. You need time to find what type of qualities you really need in a partner and what type of woman you will have the best communication with. Without the communication, you're done. If you and your wife cant talk honestly, and intelligently, you're done.
 
She was like this when you meet her, She is going to leave you soon be strong in stay focus on who you are. Don't let her make you week an think your less of a man because you make less then she do. After you are out of the picture she will see the otherside in think its good but she will remember the times you shared. Stay strong in prey things get better for yourself. May God Bless you.
 
I guess it is hard I'm trying to work things out cause I dont want my son to grow up with some other dude. but I feel you i just want the best for him.

Your son? The little ninja is probably not your son! Get an official DNA test, but start with a home DNA kit.

homeDnaBox.jpg



https://www.homedna.com/paternity_test.html?src=google
 
:smh:



I know you wanted input from other men, but maybe a woman's touch will help too. I just have a few questions

(1) Was your wife in college before you got married? She makes $60,000 a year, so I assume she got a college education at some point

(2) Do you love her?

(3) When was the last time she told you she loves you?

(4) How was she dressing to go to clubs while you were dating? (this is a separate issue from the money issue)



Grea818, in situations like this, DON'T TAKE ADVICE FROM ANY WOMAN... NOT EVEN FROM YOUR YOUR MAMA. PLEASE DON'T!
 
I'm not going to read all of these responses. For the most part the BGOL fam is trying to be real with you. My only advice to you at this point is do not get her pregnant again. Try your best to elevate your skill set and experience but before you take a pay increase take the to investigate your options regarding a separation. I'd hate to see you get raked over the coals once you start making some more money.

Good luck and bless
 
I'm not going to read all of these responses. For the most part the BGOL fam is trying to be real with you. My only advice to you at this point is do not get her pregnant again. Try your best to elevate your skill set and experience but before you take a pay increase take the to investigate your options regarding a separation. I'd hate to see you get raked over the coals once you start making some more money.

Good luck and bless

well said.
 
I guess it is hard I'm trying to work things out cause I dont want my son to grow up with some other dude. but I feel you i just want the best for him.

Bottom Line

You not fucking and spending enough good time with your woman.

Romance her and get your family back...

Get some viagras and hit it like you ain't never had it before and see if that takes care of all those misfortunes

One rule of thumb, she can't be fucking others too much if you hitting it right
 
well just becuz u asked the question to me thats ur answer.. if u have to ask it then its time 2 leave


and umm i believe these theory for queer like folk... if i think u are GAY then u are GAY.. lol i should never question someones sexual preference... shit should be obvious:lol:
 
i agree with the fellas--bounce

two reasons

if she came at u twisted like that, she prolly already fucking some dope boy--chicks don't have vision to forsee the future, so she is acting like this could happen in the future while this is now

and who wants to take care of a chick when u get paper f she wasn't riding when u didn't have it

u mentioned no good traits, so she's prolly just a liability that think she gonna catch a baller off looks alone
 
I agree. Get out while you can. You do not sound as though you are strong enough to leave her. Cover your ass, fuck visitation, get custody.
 
I haven't posted since the second page to see what the others had to say. Some are right, some are wrong.

Counseling would be a waste of time and money. You don't have a communication problem or an intimacy problem. You have two people who see life differently. That NEVER works. You can't fit a square peg in a round hole. That's why I never mentioned if you love her, that's irrelevant. She doesn't love you, at least not the way you want/need.

Get out.
 
Grea818
You seem like an alright dude. But I can see you are hellbent on doing this the hard way (reread your vows? WTF?). I got homey in a similar situation with a fucked-up marriage to a fucked-up, selfish ass bitch of a wife. He's hardheaded, too. I'll tell you like I tell him, if you don't make a serious change (either grow a pair or leave) that bitch is going to kill you, either quickly or slowly. If it was just you, you could be a doormat for the next 30 years but you have children to consider.
 
:yes::yes::yes::yes::yes::yes::yes::yes:

someone who is actually married should give this cat advice

half of these niggas dont even have girlfriends

yet their experts on marriage

-------
take every comment with a grain of salt( even the shit i said in here)

:lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
wait..so u are going to break the vow u made before God because you can't be the man she wants you to be right now?

everybody is on this microwave instant gradification thing...

dont stop continuing being he best man for her like u promised...hopefully in the mean time you can get her to understand to be pacient

sad, just sad. did you not see the shit she is doing? she already broke the fuckin vows. don't put a guilt trip on this man. he needs to be free from that bitch.
 
Going thru some shit to where wifey does not understand the meaning of respect of a man. I just got out of school and been working in my field of work (Computers) for 1yr. Last time we got into it she said she does not know if she can go thru 1 more year of me not make enough money ( I make 37,000 for now ). I told her i need to put in my time at this job before I get that big money. I'm trying to get a city job. and in my field they start you at 5600 a mth. And just last night we had talk and she started to tell me how she is use to guys paying for everything cause this is how she watched he mom grow up. And than she tells me how my mom is a giver mind she from the real old school and the islands.And that she should not have to come home from work and cook and clean for her man. she wants to be equal in everything. I told her that is fine but when you talk about money and you say we dont share the same view other than our son. The shit that piss me off is how she thinks it is cool to still go to the club in her half-naked outfits. and than sit up there and tell me we dont have fucking chemistry. My question why fucking go to the club and not try and fix your home. Make me fell good that i can trust you around some horny niggas who got money from the street . Oh she makes 60k and from what i know about marriage this shit is team work so if the books are right we got 97,000 together but she said if we paid bills together she will not benefit from only me.

What you guys think? I need advise from guy married. Oh our 2 year anny is next week.

LEAVE HER NOW WHILE YOU ARE STILL STANDING LIKE A MAN.

My ex wife did the SAME thing to ME! When I was making 75k a year she was okay. When I lost my contract and dropped down to 28k a year and was struggling she started to complain. She started to hit the club with her friends and become hella disrepectful to me verbally in front of everyone.

We got divorced and my business turned around. I'm making 150k+ now.....LEAVE NOW...she's not worth it and DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT MARRIAGE IS!

 
LEAVE HER NOW WHILE YOU ARE STILL STANDING LIKE A MAN.

My ex wife did the SAME thing to ME! When I was making 75k a year she was okay. When I lost my contract and dropped down to 28k a year and was struggling she started to complain. She started to hit the club with her friends and become hella disrepectful to me verbally in front of everyone.

We got divorced and my business turned around. I'm making 150k+ now.....LEAVE NOW...she's not worth it and DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT MARRIAGE IS!



C/S I've been here too...it doesn't bet any Better, only worse. Even if it did get better, you now have proof that she's not in it for the right reasons. Man, time heals all wounds, it hurts at first, but believe me, you'll get over it...I promise.
 
man stop simpin you have agreat upside and ahe cant see that she is one of the microwave chicks she want you to do it overnight and thats not gonna happen so i would tell you do you and do for your son then guys in he streets have a short time to ve out there they e=will fall off soon and you will still be standing tell her to get her shit together and supprt her man a positive man a role model for her son not a thug or drug dealer and that shit count way more he is the one you need to stick it out for and you know what child dupport is not all that bad she will miss the water when the well run dry Between the two of you you guys mak damn near a 100 k tell her to shut the fuck up and play her fucking position and when you get your break you are gonna bless her if she cant wait then trade her ass in for a new model holl back and stand on your own man legs playa you gor her you can get another one
 
to be fair on the expenses, this is how you should figure it out. i read this in Suze Orman's book and i use this.

you probably take home 2,158 (i took out 30% for insurance, taxes, etc) per month. she probably takes home 3,500.

this equals total combined take home monthly income of 5,658

your joint expenses, rent bills etc, (i'm making this up) are 3k. divide 3000/5658. you should both be contributing 53% of your take home towards expenses.

so you contribute 1,144 per month towards bills. she contributes 1,856.
 
Take this advice as you see fit...

I was in a kinda similar situation this past month. Wasnt a marriage, but a girl I was with.

I was doing everything you do for your lady, being there for her, going out of my way when needed, doing things to make her happy. But guess what? She started acting funny. She started being unappreciative and taking everything I was doing for granted. Then she started going out more, clubbin with her "girlfriends" (you know how that goes), being real distant and shit.

I saw all the signs, and once I realized what was going on. I CUT HER OFF. break it off before it snowballs. I learned long ago, once a chick starts trying to play you, she has no respect for you and you MUST cut her loose. Once they misinterpret your actions for being weak, you can pretty much hang it up.

So, I stopped doing everything I was doing. Stopped calling, stopped being supportive and basically stopped giving a dam. When a chick tries to play you or be disrespectful, your PRIDE kicks in...well at least it should.

Once she realized I had moved on, and wasn't a lap dog, she started blowing my phone up. But it doesn't matter, because she's already shown her true character...definitely not the wifey type.

Moral to the story:

1. People dont truly appreciate what they have until it's snatched up from under them.

2. Some women are simply not cut out to be a wife...and there's nothing you can do about it.
 
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Based on what you said, you should not have married her in the 1st place. She sounds like a gold digger,

co-sign this statement right there..i know you are ALREADY In the situation but if a chick went at me saying the stuff u said she did, her ass would be out the door..because in a relationship where 2 people don't appreciate each other equally, the relationship is doomed to fail. You're in a good career field ( i work IT myself)..you doin' alright now, but that big money u are after will come in time/experience. Cut that woman loose and find someone more appreciative.. I know some cats will say that 'cheaper to keep her' bs, but u deserve better than a lifetime of stress and uncertainty with this woman..does that make sense?
 
to be fair on the expenses, this is how you should figure it out. i read this in Suze Orman's book and i use this.

you probably take home 2,158 (i took out 30% for insurance, taxes, etc) per month. she probably takes home 3,500.

this equals total combined take home monthly income of 5,658

your joint expenses, rent bills etc, (i'm making this up) are 3k. divide 3000/5658. you should both be contributing 53% of your take home towards expenses.

so you contribute 1,144 per month towards bills. she contributes 1,856.


suze orman knows her shit....good info given here
 
Fam; I cannot tell you what to do, but I will always share what I can with a younger bother, I know your young because ur bringing ur moms in it (no Diss)

When I was a young buck, I was a selfish fucker…every penny I had was spent on me (grew up poor…u know the deal) when I was dating my now wife even as teenagers….she would do for me before she did for herself….me thinking I was a pimp, I was like hell yeah….took me some years and seeing other people I knew relationships, with their selfish gold digging, what have you done for me lately girlfriends to realize how good I had it.

So when I got the hint and started acting accordingly, we grew as a team….the whole is greater than the sum of its parts type of deal….

The chances that you will change a person’s nature are slim…however I did change….

Grain of salt

1

I'm not married, don't even have a girl, but I'm 26 and your post gives me food for thought. Much appreciated.


But, where do I find 'em?
-in Andre 3k voice **where do all the good girls hang out?**
 
aite son,

The Don's about to help you out. pay attention.

It's obvious she's cheating on you. That's your exit card as well as a way to get some change in your pocket. You just have to prove it. here's how:

1. Go to your local verizon store and get you and her new phones. Make sure you get her a phone that's chaperone capable. Chaperone is Verizon's GPS tracking service. basically you can look on a map on your phone or computer and it will point out exactly where she's at, at all times. you can even set up boundaries. if she's suppose to be at work from 9 to 5 you can set it so if she leaves a 1 mile radius from her job it will alert you. keep a daily log as to her whereabouts.

2. also check out one of the spy equipment sites and find one of the miniature recording device you can install in her coat or purse or something. they do have them small enough.

3. get a mini ccd camera and have it mounted in the grill of her vehicle and a hard drive recorder to see where she's going as well....

4. get this and mount it inside the vehicle:

http://www.spyworld.com/equipment/listings/l0065.html





Your welcome.
 
Nope everything changed after the baby and marriage we knew each other for over ten years we dated for 3 year and been married for 2 before i put the ring on the finger she use to run with me when I was out hustling doing my thing when I was a club promoter. I tell you this she only making that money cause she got that BA from ucla. But before hand no she was my ride or die chick. Now it is we can't do this cause we have a baby. Lil man only 1

The only advice I can give you is to prepare for the worst(Stack Yo Bread) Fuck her notions of BIG $$ and Build Yo Bank on GOOD SENSE. I will not advise leaving your family(Especially the BOY), but you do want to be prepared if she does not wake up from the MATRIX!

P.S. MOST Katts do not know "First Hand", because they are AFRAID of marriage, how PEOPLE CAN CHANGE from someone they were for YEEEAAARRRSSS after the numptuals. You are the MAN and Must maintain regardless. Blessup fam!
 
Man its a whole lot of real talk in this thread... makes me appreciate my wifey. Feeling real lucky, maybe even a little smart right now.

If you read the all this, everyone is telling you the same... I think you know wat to do. Some real good advice here.
 
C/S I've been here too...it doesn't bet any Better, only worse. Even if it did get better, you now have proof that she's not in it for the right reasons. Man, time heals all wounds, it hurts at first, but believe me, you'll get over it...I promise.

exactly. When me and my ex-wife split at first it hurt like a bitch. My ego was crushed because she spent days and months clowning me. But I picked myself back up and eventualy moved on. I got remarried and my NEW WIFE IS THE BOMB! She's gorgeous, funny and ALWAYS in my corner. She makes me rush home at night.

I gave my new wife 2 thousands dollars to go shopping over the weekend....I told her to buy whatever she wanted, just blow it out. She bought 98 dollars worth of stuff and told me to put the rest away for my savings....

If I had given the money to my ex-wife she would have came back broke and telling me I still owed her more!:lol:

If she doesn't respect YOU now SHE will never RESPECT YOU. You already have the answers you are just not willing to take the plunge. Instead you are going to wait until she KICKS you out versus you leaving on your own....
 
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