The Girly Thread Redux...

Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member
I'm going to try this again. This is a reboot of the original thread found here:

http://www.bgol.us/forum/index.php?threads/the-girly-thread-no-menfolx-allowed.775085/

I keep coming across great resources and blog posts for us that an new thread seems overkill for each time, so I'll use this as a compilation. If there are any books or anything in the original thread you still need feel free to request and I'll link them again.

This thread, like this forum, is a safe space. Trouble makers will be dealt with accordingly.
 

Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member







3 Signs That He Is Not A Grown Man

A significant proportion of unhealthy relationships are the result of the failure to differentiate between a man, who is merely an adult male, and a Grown man. Sadly, too many men were never taught how to be Grown (or worse, had role models who taught them anything but Grown manhood), and too many women don’t know one when they see or meet one—or are too willing to settle for less, at least as a “placeholder.”

One result is that many women fail to set a healthy, self-loving standard for relationships, instead accepting the best of the men available to them and trying to motivate, bribe, guilt or coerce them (using sex, affection, money and even procreation) into Grown manhood. The theory: If I love him right (or enough, or however he wants it, or more than anyone else has or can), then I can change him into the man he was meant/I want him/I need him to be.

The reality: You can’t. Living in the Grown Zone means recognizing that it is not your responsibility, nor is it within your power, to change, fix or control the behavior of another person with your love. (And if you’re counting on sex, even if you can put it on him better than anyone else can, that will not change established habits; it can only reward existing—including unwanted—behavior. Sex is a form of approval, not correction.)

RELATED: 3 Signs That She’s Not A Grown Woman

A man who is not Grown can’t change for you. And a man who is Grown will only change for himself, out of a commitment to his own personal growth and who he chooses to be, not who you want him to be. By the way, attempting to manipulate a Grown man will result in his distrust, resentment and, ultimately rejection of you. So forget what you may have been taught, by your girlfriends, movies, books and even your mother, about using sex, money or emotional blackmail to get, keep and control a good man.

So rather than trying to take a “piece of man” and somehow make a whole one out of him, better to learn to differentiate between a Grown man and merely an adult male right from jump, before you even consider relationship options. First, take your time. How much time? As much time as it takes. Until you confirm that a man is a Grown man, it’s best, as an act of self-love, to assume he’s not. (And if you can’t stand to wait, that’s a sign that you still have some personal growth work to do.)
 

Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member


I Stopped Moaning During Sex for Two Weeks and My Sex Life Is So Much Better

Of all the unrealistic things I observed when first watching porn, the one that struck me most was how damn loud the women were during the deed. Call me an anomaly, but—throughout my many years of masturbation—I’d never once felt the urge to make a peep, much less howl at the top of my lungs while shouting obscenities. Regardless, by the time I became sexually active, I’d learned from pretty much every porn video and movie sex scene I'd ever laid eyes on that I’d better pipe up to show my enthusiasm.

Noisy sex certainly had its advantages. Moaning and groaning during particularly hot moments clued my partners in to what I liked, like a less pushy form of encouragement (not that anyone should ever feel embarrassed to ask for exactly what they want). Sometimes, my sounds would become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I’d actually get more into whatever was going on. Plus, intentionally being loud was another way to shed all inhibitions—crucial when it comes to maximizing fun in bed.

But contemplating what vocalizations to make also took me out of the moment on occasion. And while I only made noises when I really did feel good, it still felt disingenuous to force them—something I was doing, since I felt like I'd set a precedent.

Even more importantly, I didn’t like why I was making so much noise— namely, because I felt pressured to do it. I was scared I’d wound my partners' egos if I didn’t appear to be enjoying myself, and I figured that, based on what I’d seen in the aforementioned porn, the other person was gaging my enjoyment based on my volume. Guys clearly found the noises sexy. Why should I deprive them of that?

While I’d always caved to this pressure, I was starting to get fired up about it. I never took issue with silent partners, so why should they expect me to be loud?

That's why I decided that, for two weeks, I would be totally silent in bed. I could use words if I wanted to communicate something, but no extra sounds. I expected this to be easy, since my partner and I were spending two weeks at my parents’ house (where I didn’t have to worry about explaining my sudden silence). He didn't know my quietness also had another motive.

And let me tell you, it was actually insanely difficult! Without the ability to make noise to show my enjoyment—however disingenuously I had been doing so in the past—my mind grasped for alternatives. I felt tempted to breathe loudly or hum or do something else to indicate what was feeling good. After a while, my facial expressions became a sort of noise substitute: I consciously moved my mouth into a smile when my partner did something right in order to encourage him.

I did realize that noises serve a practical purpose. But words like “that feels good” and “keep doing that,” are even more useful. We often use moans as a substitute for communicating what we’re actually feeling, but we could get even more precise and have even better sex when we're as specific about what we want as possible.

By removing the decision of what noises to make at what times, I freed up a large chunk of my brain to sit back, relax, and actually enjoy sex. Before I started, I was worried that if I didn’t verbally affirm my enjoyment, sex would become less fun. But it was actually better. Instead of trying to arouse or compliment my partner, I was focused on what I was feeling.

Despite no pressure coming from my partner, I had been making sex disproportionately about him. It feels like a symptom of a bigger double-standard in what we expect, sexually, from men and women. Even when women are the ones being pleased, we end up thinking about how to please men through our facial expressions and sounds.

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with trying to turn on your partner. But this experiment made me realize that I should take note when I'm making noise purely for his enjoyment—especially if it means detracting from my own.

My partner and I are apart for the next few weeks, but I look forward to more silent sex when we meet up again—even though we'll be in the privacy of his apartment this time. My new goal? I'm going to stop worrying about what I do with my face.

Wish me luck.
 

Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member
The Hourglass Workout

There is a vid at the sourcelink, ironically the chick in the vid demonstrating these is built like a box.

http://www.shape.com/fitness/workouts/5-moves-hourglass-figure

In order to look in the mirror and see an enviable hourglass frame with curves in all the right places, it’s crucial to not only target your waist but your hips as well. And flattening your stomach while carving out a defined midline calls for working your entire core, butt, and thighs. This routine uses a variety of next-level planks that work muscles from head to toe as well as twisting action to shrink your waist.

How it works: Three times a week, do each exercise back to back with no rest between. Perform the circuit 3 times, resting 30 seconds between circuits.

Total Time: up to 15 minutes

You will need: Mat
1. Side Plank Lift
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A
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B
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A.
Lie on your side. Position yourself on your bottom elbow and the side of your foot. Lift your hips in the air, forming a straight line between your ankles, hips, and shoulders. Brace your abs and squeeze your glutes.

B.
With your weight supported on the elbow and side of the foot, lower your hips to the floor. Pause, and then return to the starting position.

Sets:
3

Reps:
15

Mistakes and Tips:
Do not move your hips back and forth. Instead, move them up and down.

Do not lose the straight line from the shoulders, hips, and ankles.

Do not place your grounded elbow too high above your shoulder.

2. Plank with Hip Drop
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B
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A.
Start in a forearm plank position with elbows under shoulders and feet hip-width apart. Engage quads, glutes, and core the entire time to form a straight line from head to feet.

B.
Keeping upper body completely still, drop hips to the left. Return to starting position. Drop hips to the right and return to starting position to complete 1 rep.

Sets:
3

Reps:
15

3. Twisting V-Up
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Lie faceup with arms by sides. Engage core and lift left leg to about 45 degrees as you lift upper body off the mat, twisting from waist and reaching right arm to touch outside of left leg. Return to starting position and repeat, this time lifting right leg and reaching left arm to complete 1 rep.

Sets:
3

Reps:
15

4. Side Plank with Leg Lift
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A
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B
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A.
Lie on your side and position yourself on your bottom elbow and side of your foot. Lift your hips in the air, forming a straight line from ankles to shoulders, and brace your core.

B.
While keeping your torso stable, raise your top leg without bending your knee. Do not let your hips drop. Return to starting position.

Sets:
3

Reps:
30 seconds each side

Mistakes and Tips:
Don't allow your hips to drop. Maintain a straight line from your shoulders to your ankles.

Do not let your torso move or sway from side-to-side as you raise your leg.

5. Plank with Leg Kick
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A
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B
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A.
Start in a forearm plank position with elbows under shoulders and feet hip-width apart. Engage quads, glutes, and core the entire time to form a straight line from head to feet.

B.
Lift left leg up to hip height, then kick out a few inches to the left. Come back to center and lower foot back to the ground. Repeat, this time lifting right leg and kicking to the right to complete 1 rep.

Sets:
3

Reps:
15
 

Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member
8 Ways to Touch Your Guy During Sex
Discover his most powerful pleasure zones to make your sex life hotter than ever

It’s no secret that women have some very specific pleasure points on their body, and hopefully your guy is no stranger to the clit and G-spot. Yet you might be surprised to know that the male body also has particular trigger spots that—when stimulated—will send him over the edge. “Orgasm is the release of sexual tension, and tension is created through gradually increasing and varying touch and pressure on his passion points,” says Claire Cavanah, co-founder of Babeland, a national chain of women-owned sex shops, and co-author of Moregasm: Babeland's Guide to Mind-Blowing Sex and Sex Toys 101. “Licking and biting with your mouth, then adding in heat or cold sensations by sucking on an ice cube or drinking hot tea will drive him wild.” To find out where to touch him to make his toes curl, click through our hot list.

The F Spot
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How to find it: The frenulum is the spot where the glans meets the shaft on the underside of the penis just below the head, and the concentration of nerve endings here is sometimes compared to the female equivalent of the clitoris.

Make him go wild: “When giving him oral sex, let your tongue slide over that area,” Cavanah says. “With your hands, stroke it with your thumb while you move your fingers around the shaft.” To slowly build his arousal, go back and forth between stimulating his F spot and the less sensitive base of his penis.

Soles of His Feet
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How to find it: “Men have a relatively higher concentration of nerve endings in the soles of their feet than women do,” says Mark Michaels, co-author of the new book Partners in Passion: A Guide to Great Sex, Emotional Intimacy, and Long-Term Love. “There is an acupressure point about one-third of the way down from the third toe, right in front of the arch in the center of the foot.” Nicknamed the "bubbling spring," pressing on this point may boost blood flow throughout the body, getting him all hot and bothered.

Make him go wild: Start your foreplay by giving him a foot massage: Have a warm towel ready and then place his feet on a pillow on your lap. Use the warm towel to wipe his feet and get them warm, and then focus on this point by taking your thumb and gently rubbing it around this spot as a transition to a more erotic kind of rubdown.

The P Spot
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How to find it: The male prostrate gland, which is located about three-quarters of a finger length inside his anus and feels sort of like a walnut towards the base of his penis, is a hotbed of nerve endings. “It’s similar to the female G spot, and gently massaging this area can give him a powerful orgasm,” Michaels says.

Make him go wild: Your best bet is to talk to your guy outside of the bedroom before you try to finger his anus so he doesn’t get any unwanted surprises. Try bringing it up during a romantic dinner by saying you love making love with him, and want to experiment even more. You might say that you heard stimulating his prostrate can trigger a really intense orgasm, and see if he would be down to try it later on. If your guy isn’t comfortable with you using your fingers to gently penetrate the area, there are other ways to stimulate his prostate. One way to do this is to give some loving to his perineum, or the smooth strip of skin between his testicles and anus. Since the prostate is internally located between the base of his penis and his anus so touching him on the outside of that area can externally stimulate the gland. “Have him lie on his back with his knees bend and legs spread apart, and then use your fist to apply even pressure to the area with quick vibration-like motions,” Michaels says.

Thumb
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Drive him wild: Many guys are heavily conditioned to focus solely on the genitals. “If you expand his capacity to have erotic experiences throughout his entire body, you can open up a whole other world of possibility for him,” Michaels says. The thumb is actually a sexy spot for a lot of guys. “To suck on a man’s thumb evokes sucking on something else, and can help him connect his mind and body during lovemaking. Start off foreplay by gazing into his eyes as you kiss his hands, and then suck on his thumb as a promise for what’s to come,” Michaels suggests.

Gluteal Fold
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How to find it: The crease where the top of his thigh meets his butt is a surefire passion point. “It’s a sensitive area and could be the reason why some people like being spanked,” Michaels says.

Drive him wild: Ease into it slowly.Use your hand to stroke him, run your fingernails over the area, then build up to a gentle slap,” Cavanah says. Or, when he is lying on his stomach, try kissing a trail down his back, over his buttocks, and then gently nibbling along this fold and flicking it with your tongue before moving on to his inner thighs.

Sacrum
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How to find it: The sacrum is the triangular bone located at the base of his spine in between his hips (think: the small of his back). There are nerves in the sacrum that are linked to the genitals, so stimulating these nerves can send sensations to his manly parts. In fact, some studies show that electrical stimulation of these nerves can trigger orgasm.

Drive him wild: Have your man lie on his stomach and give him a massage by doing light, karate-chop type movements along his sacrum. “Doing this not only stimulates those sacral nerves, but also triggers the parasympathetic nervous system which is key for relaxing, letting go, and having an orgasm,” Michaels says.

RELATED: 7 Tips for a Better Orgasm

Nipples
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Drive him wild: “If you’re with a man who enjoys this, start by stroking around the aureole and gently tweaking the nipple with your fingers,” Cavanah says. “Lick around it and suck on it, increasing pressure and gently biting it. Nipples can be twisted and pulled to great effect, too.” She also suggests trying a pair of nipple clamps when he’s really turned on. It will keep blood flow in the area, increasing sensitivity and keeping them at attention. Or try sucking on an ice cube and then sucking on his nibbles. “The contraction of his nipples due to the cold can heighten the sensations,” Michaels says.

Scrotal Raphe
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How to find it: It’s easy to give his penis all the loving, but don’t leave his balls out in the cold. The scrotal sack is the loose skin that surrounds the testicles and that’s what feels good to stimulate. “The line that runs in the middle like a seam is the raphe,” Cavanah says.

Drive him wild: “Gently flicking the raphe with your tongue feels great to most men,” Cavanah says. “Let him guide you on how much pressure he likes because the amount varies depending on the guy.” To get him really hot, sip on very warm tea and then flick your heated tongue over this sensitive area. He’ll lose himself in the new feelings, and novelty can make for more powerful orgasms.


http://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/8-new-ways-touch-your-guy-during-sex
 

Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member




Audre Lorde
, writer and activist, once said "caring for self is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation and that is the act of political warfare." But nowadays, self-care seems to be synonymous with Bikram yoga, superfoods and a possible CrossFit class. Although all of those things are fine for some, they aren't fine or accessible for all. How can everyone can practice self-care? First, we have to dissect what self-care is, as well as what it isn't.



Self-care is comforting
My mother always told me to do one thing at least twice a month for myself. For her, it's going to her favorite nail salon for a routine mani-pedi. The simple act takes no more than an hour or two, but it helps erase the stress and drama from her work and home life. Whether it's getting a mani-pedi twice a month, drinking your favorite warm tea daily, or having awesome sex every week, just incorporating the simple comforting things in your life can make a huge difference in how you take on life's obstacles.

Self-care is challenging
Just because self-care can be comforting, that doesn't mean it should always be easy. Growth is never easy. If you are trying to change your life for the better, you will have to shed some old habits and thoughts that hold you back. Bringing in new habits and thoughts that might be hard for you at first, but it will benefit you in the end.

Self-care is a time to explore
Find a new class intriguing? Want to try a new food? We're curious at heart and there's nothing wrong with creating new experiences. In fact, trying something new can help you overcome fear, learn a new skill, or help you meet new people.

Self-care doesn't have to be time-consuming
Breathing exercises for five minutes can bring more oxygen to your brain, while 10 minutes of sunlight can lift your mood. Scratch the idea that if you can't do two-a-days in the gym then you aren't doing enough. Small habit changes can make a huge impact in your life

.
Self-care doesn't have to be expensive
The best things in life are free. Like saying 'no,' having a good cry or dancing to some good music. Those three self-care tools can help you prevent or help you through tough situations. If you want to incorporate a service or product into your self-care practice but can't afford it, I ask you to look into alternative ways to receive those things. For products, catch a sale, go to freecycle sites or even a local thrift store to find what you need. For services, look for community-based organizations, volunteer, or barter to get what you what. If all that fails, remember Google, your local library and YouTube have your back.


Self-care is customary
The most important thing is that there is no correct way to practice self-care. Let's focus on the 'self' part of self-care. We are all different and we have different needs and ways to meet those needs. Sometimes morning meditation can help me start my day, just like old Rugrats episodes can help me calm down from an intense day. All in all, just do what heals you.

https://blavity.com/is-self-care-a-privileged-act/
 

Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member
I haven't signed up for this, just sharing. 19 bucks per month, one month free trial. A way to support black business.

http://yogagreenbook.com/

Finally, an online yoga community for people of color



As a black yoga student and teacher, I get thrilled when something new comes around. It’s even more meaningful when that “something new” is created for us and by us. Yoga has been hijacked and commercialized by mainstream media. We are shown what it means to be and look like a yogi and that image is a skinny, sexy, flexible and rich white woman.

Unfortunately, the damage is so deep I can’t even begin to cover it in this article. It’s hurtful to the history of the sacred practice, disrespectful to the women who are constantly being overtly sexualized and harmful to anyone who doesn’t fit that mold (due to the color of your skin, how you self-identify, economic status, physical ability and so much more).

When I came across Yoga Green Book, I instantly knew it was something refreshing, something special and sacred. It’s something for the black community. We can claim it as ours and be proud of it and the site is a beautiful representation of who we are. It’s an online community where people of color can go for yoga.

I visit the site often for many reasons:

  1. To see other people who look like me doing things that I’m interested in.
  2. The blog is an amazing learning space.
  3. Of course, the yoga!
  4. Relatability


I had a chance to ask Yoga Green Book founder, Carla Christine, some questions.Her answers made me love the site even more. Check it out below for yourself.

Jasmine Creighton: What inspired you to create YGB?

Carla Christine: Following my first yoga class, I recognized that it had the ability to aid in self-healing. After 10 years working as an electrical engineer, I was empowered to leave my job and follow my passion and purpose to share yoga's transformational power. While teaching yoga at a studio in Chicago, I saw the need to create a healing space for people of color that could improve their physical, mental and emotional health.

I created Yoga Green Book as this healing space for yogis of color to unite and practice yoga in a space dedicated and reflective of their image. I specifically created an online video platform because I feel online yoga is an encouraging entry point for those new to yoga, as well as a means for seasoned practitioners to continue to evolve their practice.

I believe in the power of practicing in a physical space with a teacher and other yogis, but I understand that is not always realistic. True power comes in having a consistent practice and ultimately finding your own personal practice/.

JC: The name is very powerful and carries deep historical roots; can you elaborate more on the name?

CC: The name Yoga Green Book was inspired by The Negro Motorist Green Book, which was a printed guide of businesses that weary segregation-era travelers could trust and safely take refuge in. A segment in Henry Louis Gates Jr.'s documentary The African Americans: Many Rivers to Cross detailed The Green Book and sparked my idea to build an online safe space for people of color to practice yoga and reap its benefits.

Carla-Watkins-Yoga-Headshot_cropped.jpg
Photo: Courtesy of Carla Christine

JC: What is the mission of YGB?

CC: To promote healing and holistic wellness for people of color through online yoga studio and community.

JC: What separates you from other websites that offer memberships and access to online yoga?

CC: Our site is dedicated and representative of people of color. I believe there is much to be gained when you are in a space that is racially and culturally-affirming.

JC: What would you say (or have you said) to someone who isn't black but takes offense to a website dedicated to black people?

CC: Until it is the standard for people of color to be included in yoga communities locally and online, I believe sites dedicated to people of color are needed. Seeing teachers of color in the community is another layer of encouragement to practice yoga. Their knowledge and commitment to helping the community heal by sharing tools that they know of or that have worked for them can have an impact on the community.

Being a part of organizations dedicated to people of color (such as my sorority, The National Society of Black Engineers, INROADS, etc.) throughout my life has positively affected me. I believe there is power in seeing our positive images represented in the community and in leadership positions.

JC: How do you find yoga teachers to spotlight and feature on your site?

CC: I find yoga teachers through online research and through word of mouth. Searching for and connecting with other teachers of color is one of my favorite hobbies.

JC: Can you explain the membership and benefits?

CC: The site offers unlimited access to instructional videos ranging in time, level and style. Classes mindfully integrate asanas (postures), pranayama (breath work), and meditation to create an inner journey towards healing and empowerment. First-timers get a 30-day free trial and then membership is $19/month. Members will now have 24-hour support to get any site or yoga questions they have answered via email.

JC: What do you see for the future of YGB?

CC: We aspire to significantly improve the overall wellness of people of color. Our community motivates us so our future offerings, events and technological enhancements will be inspired by their wants and needs.

JC: In one of our previous conversations, you mentioned that YGB has built a user base of over 105 sign-ups in one month in a low-key way, can you touch on that a little more?

CC: We received incredible support from our community and a posting in a Facebook group dedicated to black yogis that went viral. Other sign-ups are contributed to word of mouth and organic traffic from our new and growing Facebook page. Our members are motivating us to keep grinding to share our images and teachings with as many people as possible.

JC: How can we get in contact with you and/or YGB?

CC: info@yogagreenbook.com. We love receiving emails from the community on anything yoga-related and input on what they want to see on our site next. You can also keep up with us on Facebook and Instagram. Our social media communities are new and growing, and we have exciting things brewing for them, so stay tuned.

After my interview with Carla, I didn’t know it was possible to have so much pride in a project that I didn’t personally create. But that’s exactly how I feel about Yoga Green Book. It’s something to be proud of. As a student, I definitely learn from the videos and blogs. And as a teacher, I love to implement what I learn in my classes and personal practice.

My goal is to partner with YGB and create my own videos for the site (once I get over my anxiety of video taping myself).

I hope as a community, we can support this platform. We are too often overlooked and underserved; Yoga Green Book is here to serve us. Let’s not let all their hard work be in vain.



https://21ninety.com/finally-online-yoga-community-people-color
 

Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member
https://21ninety.com/workout-twerkout-soulful-classes-that-will-get-you-fit


Workout twerkout: Soulful classes that will get you fit


You’ve probably attended a group fitness class or two in your life. But have you actually turnt up in a group fitness class? I mean, feeling-like-you’re-at-the-club-with-a-drink type of turn up? These five classes are as good as it gets for those of us that like a little rhythm and soul in our fitness routine. If you’re lucky enough to be in the same city as these high-energy classes, you have no excuse: get it on your calendar ASAP and do your body a little favor just in time for the holidays. Everyone else: prepare to be motivated.

KTX Fitness Spin Class
Atlanta, GA

If you haven’t seen this cycling rendition of “Wipe Me Down,” you’re just not living. KTX Fitness’s cycle class is basically a party on a bike. Instructor Keith Thompson has a playlist full of high-energy music with a range of different tempos so that you either get a slow or high-speed burn. Either way, you’ll enjoy it so much you’ll barely notice you’re working out.



XTreme Hip-Hop
Cleveland Heights, OH

If you thought step aerobics went out of style with the '80s, you’re wrong. You just ain’t been doin’ it right! Enter: Phil Weeden and his super-energetic hip-hop step class. Weeden incorporates classic step moves like the basic box step and knee repeaters with your favorite hip-hop songs, making it hard to believe that the song wasn’t actually made to supplement his choreography. It doesn’t hurt that he’s a very charismatic guy with a voice that was made for motivation.


Soca’Robics
Baltimore, MD

Wave your flag! If you haven’t ever been to a Soca party, let me introduce you to your new favorite thing. Soca’Robics is a soca party — you just happen to have on fitness clothes and you’re given the choreography (for many of us, this second one is a good thing). The instructor, Natalie Burrowes, overlays the fast-tempo soca music with simple yet authentic soca moves and makes it user-friendly enough for anyone to join along. Get ready to wine it!


Cycle Therapy
Chicago, IL

House heads unite. Aaron Foster’s spin class features high-energy Chicago house music that is guaranteed to keep you pedaling, and might even force you into the classic house head-bop while you’re still on the bike. Don’t expect to do the traditional cycling cadence of upright pedaling either. He’ll have you doing a series of push-ups, leg isolations, and any other variation that is virtually possible on a bike. No worries — you’ll be so into the music (and the Chicago skyline if you make it to an outdoor class) that you’ll barely notice the burn.


LexTwerkOut
Los Angeles, CA

A little twerk ain’t never hurt nobody. In fact, a little twerk might be what you need to meet your next fitness goal. Lexy Panterra is a twerk queen. The best thing about a workout like this is you learn a practical skill: you can take your twerkout skills to the real party the following weekend. I can’t think of a sexier way to snap you core, glutes and legs into shape.

Of course, this is just a snapshot of some of the classes out there that are deeply rooted in the culture, soul and energy that we love. (Many of these instructors also tour with their classes so check their websites to see if they will be in your city.) Cool new classes are popping up every day, and there are likely several within your very own city. Get out there. Burn some calories. And most of all, get turnt.
 

Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member
Have to click the tweet, and then the right arrow to read it all, it has 3-4 images of text....


 

Camille

Kitchen Wench #TeamQuaid
Staff member


Natural Hair Bias Is the Latest Tool Being Used to Criminalize Black Girls, Marginalize Black Women

In Malden, Mass., the long-simmering argument of how appropriate it is for African-American women to style their hair as they choose hit a new crescendo. In an attempt to, as the Mystic Valley Regional Charter School interim director said, “… promotes equity by focusing on what unites and by reducing visible gaps between those of different means,” the school placed a restriction on hair thickness and extensions that seemed to directly contradict U.S. Department of Justice guidelines on race-based policies.

This policy and its uneven enforcement — the school rarely, for example, punishes students for hair color, another dress-code violation — led to the repeat suspensions of African-American female students. Singled out were Mya and Deanna Cook, who have received more than 16 hours’ detention, were removed from their team sports and banned from their proms — all for having braided hair. This has, since the breaking of this story, led to a letter of condemnation from the state’s Attorney General Office, a lawsuit from the ACLU and the school district suspending the controversial policy.

“The policy specifically prohibits ‘shaved lines or shaved sides’ as examples of drastic or unnatural hairstyles, and ‘hair more than 2 inches in thickness or ‘height’’ as an example of hair that is distracting and thus not allowed,” Genevieve Nadeau, the chief of the Massachusetts Attorney General’s Division of Civil Rights, wrote.

“These prohibitions appear to specifically reference hairstyles such as ‘fades’ that are commonly worn by Black male students, and ‘afros’ that are most likely to be worn by Black students (both male and female). These styles are not simply fashion choices or trends, but, in addition to occurring naturally in many cases, can be important expressions of racial culture, heritage, and identity.”

Cases such as the one in Mystic Valley seem to go beyond cultural insensitivity and constitute an implicit attack on African-American females’ right to be who they are. A 16-year-old Black student in Montverde, Fla., who happens to have naturally curly hair, was told recently that her hair was a violation of the school’s “no dreadlock” dress-code policy. In 2013, a 12-year-old in Orlando, Fla., was told to either straighten or cut her puffy hair or face expulsion. The student, at the time, was being subjected to bullying by her classmates for her hair.

As profiled by the Kirwan Institute for the Study of Race and Ethnicity at the Ohio State University, African-American students are more likely to be removed from instruction than their white counterparts for minor infractions such as dress code violations due to implicit bias. In one cited example, Black students in North Carolina public schools were six times more likely to be suspended than white students for dress-code violations. These offenses are, in less-served schools, typically handed over to the police to handle.

This prosecution of Black hair amounts to the criminalization of being African-American. Attacking one class for what would be acceptable with another constitutes not just a mentality that seems to persist and proliferate through miseducation and lack of positive exposure but also an open-ended attack on what it means to be oneself.

“These attacks leave a very dangerous and destructive message,” Carlota Zimmerman, a career and lifestyle coach, said. “To be told by your teachers, adults, by your society that your hair, as it is naturally, is ‘wrong,’ or ‘inappropriate’ for school, that you should change yourself to be deemed worthy to get an education, to get opportunities? We’re sending a terrible message to our Black youths that as they are is wrong. As they are is not fit to be educated, to be valued, to contribute. This message destroys lives since our lives are based on our self-confidence, on our sense of self, our sense of value.”

Black Hair Discrimination
In order to understand this controversy, a few points must be made clear. To start, most women have a natural hair state. Unless descended from specific Native American, Asiatic and Western European ethnicities, most women’s hair — when left to its own volition — will take on a curly, fizzy, wavy or otherwise voluminous state. The 2012 Disney movie “Brave,” for example, took a good deal of flak on social media for showing a Scottish “Disney Princess” with a full mane of frizzy red hair.

Women’s hair care is a multi-billion-dollar global industry. The daily maintenance and personal expense needed to keep hair at a publicly acceptable level are one of the greatest headaches women deal with as part of their daily routine.

“There’s no such thing as ‘wake up and go,’” an uncredited Black woman is reported saying, per Kovie Biakolo. “Whether I wear my hair naturally, curly or straightened via flatiron, making it presentable is a process. When it’s curly, it gets dry very quickly and goes flat after a day or two. I have to re-wet, moisturize, comb and brush almost every day to keep the curls looking healthy and full. When it’s straight, I have to touch up my hair with a flatiron even to wear it in a ponytail. That’s not to mention the process of straightening it in the first place, which is nearly two hours of washing, blow drying and straightening.

“This upkeep doesn’t sound like much, but all this work brings my hair nothing close to white standards of beauty,” she continued. “I fight with and destroy my hair to get it to look as close as possible to a standard I know it will never achieve because it’s just not in its nature. But what’s the alternative?”

While hair struggles are a natural part of being a woman, rarely does this warrant more than odd looks outside the Black experience. While non-conforming hairstyles might be brushed aside as a fashion faux pas or a non-event if done by a non-Black woman, when Black women wear hairstyles that don’t conform to “white standards,” it can lead to job terminations, school suspensions and even arrests.

Take, for example, 2014. On March 31 of that year, the Army announced that it has updated its appearance and grooming policy. The policy, known as AR 670-1, banned cornrows, braids, twists and dreadlocks, arguing that these hairstyles interfere with the fitting of essential equipment, such as combat helmets. This turned out to be ironic, as most of the women affected by this policy chose these hairstyles to reduce the maintenance time needed and to be more “combat-ready.” The policy was overturned shortly thereafter.

Since the inception of the country, Black hair has been linked to negative stereotypes about being African-American. “Hair type rapidly became the real symbolic badge of slavery, although, like many powerful symbols, it was disguised, in this case by the linguistic device of using the term ‘Black,’ which nominally threw the emphasis to color,” Harvard sociologist Orlando Patterson wrote in his book “Slavery and Social Death.” “No one who has grown up in a multiracial society, however, is unaware of the fact that hair difference is what carries the real symbolic potency.”

“These attacks on Afrocentric styles and fashions are unfortunately definitely not new. I was speaking to a Black female friend who, in the 1960s, did some modeling with the likes of Richard Roundtree of ‘Shaft’ fame, and she was telling me stories that were interchangeable from today,” Zimmerman added. “Racism has all the time in the world. I think the difference is nowadays with social media, these attacks are getting far more attention, and also due to social media, more people of color are finding comfort and strength in accepting themselves as they are. So, there’s less tolerance and much more public anger.

“When you factor in our first Black president, police shootings of Black men, I think many people of color see these attacks upon women’s hair similar to physical assault.”

The Bias against Natural Hair
In 2016, the Perception Institute conducted an online study into how perceptions of African-American women are influenced by explicit and implicit biases toward their hair. The study was inspired in part by SheaMoisture’s 2016 “Break the Walls” campaign, which challenged retailers’ traditional position of separating hair products by race, with nonwhite products being delegated to the “ethnic” section. By segregating products meant for women of color, there may be a subliminal message that ethnic hair is somehow different from “normal hair.”

To test this, the Perception Institute tested users for implicit and explicit biases by showing photos of a single model wearing both straight and “natural” wigs and asking what words and phrases come to mind when they see the photos.

The study found:

  • Black women that consider themselves naturalistas are the most positive about textured or natural hair, seeing it as “beautiful,” “sexy” and “professional” at a greater amount than any other population, including other Black women;
  • Black women remain sensitive of social stigma surrounding textured hair;
  • Millennials are more accepting of natural hair than any other women in the sample;
  • Black women are more anxious about their hair than White women;
  • Ruining their hair is the excuse for a third of all surveyed Black women skipping exercise;
  • Twice the number of Black women feel pressured to straighten their hair for work than white women;
  • Black women invest more time-wise and in actual expense in their hair than white women; and
  • White women are more likely to be explicitly biased against Black hair compared to “smooth” hair, finding it to be “less attractive,” “less beautiful’ and “less professional.”
“It is curious that the study found millennials to be the most accommodating to textured hair,” Alexis McGill Johnson, the executive director of the Perception Institute, said. “This is significant because even if most of us would say that an afro is beautiful to a survey, we’ve taken in so many social cues about hair that it is hard to escape media about it. These millennials have been involved in online communities, replacing the cultural knowledge we have lost in the decades we have been straightening our hair and creating reaffirming images that helped replace the negative schemas.”

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The road toward breaking down the implicit biases against natural hair starts with a reflection of one’s personal bias. (Courtesy: Pixabay/cherylholt)


The Enemy in the Mirror
The bottom line with hair bias is that, for many, it is veiled racism. Textured hair reminds the prejudiced viewer of Black culture and draws an unthinking reaction. There may be no convenient solution to implicit racism except to expose it at every opportunity.

There is another component to hair bias, however, which could be combatted. To illustrate this, let us take, for example, the former first lady Michelle Obama. When she entered the White House, she had heavily processed “smooth” hair. To the casual viewer, she met the visual expectation of a successful, professional Black woman — well coifed, well dressed and well spoken. When, while on vacation, she allowed her hair to go natural, the criticism she received, despite changing nothing else of her public persona, was severe.

This is even more shocking in retrospect considering she has been seen wearing her hair naturally more often, to the Internet’s acclaim, since leaving the White House.

Since the time of slavery, natural, “nappy” hair was seen as being more undesirable than hair that mirrors Eurocentric styles. Unprocessed, non-straight hair suggested the person was uncivilized, uneducated or somehow dangerous. To be accepted, African-American women (and men) not only subjected themselves to hot combs, lye-based hair treatments and a host of other hazardous treatments, but they also taught their daughters to do the same. This is reflected in the oft-repeated unwritten rule, “Straighten your hair for the interview, wear it natural once you are through the door.”

This notion that success and beauty are connected to straight hair still proliferates in the media. Many of the role models for African-American women have chemically processed straight hair because it is what they were told was needed to be taken seriously. Entire generation – both white and Black – have seen the allegedly most successful and socially acceptable among Black women wear their hair straight and formed an association between straight hair and Black success and Black beauty. This is how implicit bias is born.

As pointed out in the article Hair Story: Untangling the Roots of Black Hair in America, various African tribes adapted elaborate hair braiding patterns as a messaging and identification schema as early as the 15th century. One of the ways slavers would break newly captured enslaved women of their identities was to shave their heads.

http://atlantablackstar.com/2017/06...minalize-black-girls-marginalize-black-women/
 
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